am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
