I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
