Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
