you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just made out with a guy for $7.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
