I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Everyone says I win the strip club
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
