I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
