Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
