You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize