yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
so let's talk penis.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
as a side note pls kill me
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
