ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
