So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
