His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I stole a fireplace last night.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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