the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
