This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
