FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My dick has a subreddit
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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