I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
