I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
