it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
