what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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