No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
