I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
