i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
