Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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