I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
