yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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