Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize