I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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