I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My liver just had a heart attack.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
