Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I queefed so loud it echoed.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
