the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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