I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
