I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
