I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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