We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
