if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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