My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize