So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
