I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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