Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
it's like iHOP with fire
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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