just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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