; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
porn star boner night. come get it.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We left the knife in your bed.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
