Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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