I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
