u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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