I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
