I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
