Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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