like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
