i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
false alarm. still invincible.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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