since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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