hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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