i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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