shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
