its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
