he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize