I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
