I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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