The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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