we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
