You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
