I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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