I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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