my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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